My ex started following me on instagram

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Instagram is designed to get you noticed, but how do you get your ex’s attention without being super obvious about it? You have tons of options! Focus on sharing posts that show how much you’re thriving without them. Before long, they’ll realize what they're missing out on and slide into your DMs. Read on for a complete list of what to do, post, and say to get your ex's attention and make them realize what they've lost.

1. 

   Highlight the biggest thing your ex is missing out on—you! Check your selfies for good lighting and flattering angles, and crop out any distracting items or people that draw the focus away from you. If you’re using a filter, choose one that looks light or natural and turn down the intensity so it looks less obvious.[1]

   • An eye-catching selfie takes up about two thirds of the space in the photo. Crop your image so it’s not zoomed too far out or unflatteringly close in.
   • Remember to smile, look at the camera, and double check that your outfit is lying right. Take a few so you have options.

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1. 

   Prove to your ex that you’re killing it! Post photos of you working, accepting an award, competing in a sport, or celebrating a milestone like getting your driver's license. These successes are all yours, and your ex will notice they’re missing out on being with an ambitious, driven person.[2] Other success posts you can share include:

   • Funny or interesting stories from work or school
   • “Candid” photos of you studying for a test or training for a competition
   • A photo of you doing an extracurricular activity or volunteering

1. 

   Show your ex they’re missing out on an interesting, multi-talented partner. Share your progress training for a 10K, raising money for a charity, or working on an artistic project—whatever it is that fulfills you and makes you feel like a star. Your confidence and pride in who you are will grab your ex’s attention (and probably other people’s, too!).[3] More examples might be:

   • Posting about a killer new recipe you created
   • Sharing stories from concerts, festivals, and other events you go to
   • Anything about a new hobby or interest you picked up since the breakup

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1. 

   You don’t want your ex to think you’re super sad or angry at him. Stay witty and peppy in your captions and avoid dramatic diary entries, sad lyrics, or quotes about heartbreak. It’ll help you look approachable, and increase their chances of reaching out to you first.[4] Try things like:

   • A witty comment about your look, like “Just feeling this outfit today! You know, because it’s on my skin”
   • A vague statement about your relationship to the people in your photos, like “Amazing night out on the town with this one”
   • A jokey question, like “Do I look like I’m going to school, prison, or both?”

1. 

   Show your ex that you take care of yourself regardless of their presence. Share photos of you at the gym or on a run to show you’re staying active. It doesn’t have to be a steamy thirst trap photo—just something to show the breakup hasn’t affected your health. [5] You can also post about:

   • Photos or stories of your favorite self-care activities
   • Tasty photos of your favorite healthy foods and recipes
   • Positive posts or thoughts about maintaining good mental and emotional health

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1. 

   Your ex will notice you having the time of your life without them. Post photos of you having a great time while you’re out and about with friends or family (plus, you’ll probably be grateful for the extra time with loved ones after the breakup).[6] Share pics that other people take of you to really get your ex wondering, “who took that!?”[7]

   • Give your ex a twinge of jealousy by including photos of you hanging out with members of the opposite sex or with someone you know they don’t like.
   • If you’re posting a group photo, try to find ones where you’re in the middle so you stand out more (and look like the life of the party).

1. 

   Your ex will miss you when they see you at places you used to go together. Post a selfie from the coffee shop the two of you always used to go to, or a story post of you walking through the park where you had your first date. They’ll be wanting to go there again with you after they see how good they had it.[8] Also try:

   • Posting photos of foods or drinks you used to share
   • Stories with “your song” playing in the background
   • Selfies wearing clothes or accessories they bought you

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1. 

   For some, jealousy is a factor in wanting to get back together. Post a photo of you enjoying yourself with someone of the opposite sex. It could be something simple like a snapshot from a casual night out with friends or a pic of you and a classmate goofing off. Tag the person for extra emphasis.[9]

   • You don’t even have to include the whole person in the photo. A guy’s arm or a girl’s purse that you “forgot” to crop out is enough to get your ex asking “who are they with!?”
   • Be careful not to overdo the jealousy trick. The people in your photos might start to feel used, and your ex will start to see through your strategy if it’s all you’re posting.

1. 

   The ultimate attention-getter is to be an outgoing, adventurous person. Post about the new things you’ve tried or places you’ve been, especially if it’s something your ex wouldn’t have enjoyed doing. They’ll realize they’re missing out on being with a dynamic, fun person who knows how to enjoy their life.[10] Try things like:

   • Vacation photos from your first visit to a new place
   • Videos of you trying an activity for the first time, like rock climbing or gardening
   • Shots of you rocking a new haircut or outfit

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1. 

   Your ex will miss you when they remember how well you know them. Post videos of you dancing or lip syncing to their favorite band, quote jokes from their favorite comedians, or share photos from a night out at their favorite club. Everyone wants someone who knows them deeply, and they’ll want you back ASAP after seeing these.[11]

   • Be subtle with these. If your ex catches on that you’re only posting these to make them miss you, they might stop paying attention.

1. 

   After a few weeks of no-contact, it’s time to thaw out the relationship. Like some of their posts (not every single one) or send a 🔥 or 😂 reaction to their stories.[12] They will start liking your posts back, and eventually you can work your way up to full conversations.[13]

   • Try leaving short comments on their posts at first like “nice!” or “cool pic.” When they comment on yours, reply with 1-word phrases like “thanks!” or “hahahah.”
   • Send them memes from other accounts you know they'll find funny.
   • After a few days of likes and reactions, try replying to their stories with longer messages, like “This reminds me of the time we went to Colorado!”
   • Eventually, you’ll be able to have long conversations again and work on building a friendship or getting back together.

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• Wait 2-3 weeks before you try to break the ice with a comment or a DM. During the no-contact time, let your posts and stories do all the talking for you.[14]

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• Try not to spend too much time gazing at your ex’s profile and checking up on them. Focus on making your own posts fun, flirty, and irresistible and they’ll be messaging you in no time.[15]

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• Try to post with the same frequency as you did before the breakup. A sudden drop off makes it look like you’re too sad or shaken to be online, while an unexpected flood of pictures seems like a plea for attention. The goal is to make yourself look confident and happy![16]

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